Blue Barbeque | Blue Notes - A Dodgers Blog

It's the Fourth of July and everyone's kicking back, taking the day off from work, having a good time, etc. One typical ritual associated with such festivities? A good ol' fashioned grill out. Charcoalfest. Barbecue mania. I imagine at least one or two of y'all will be attending some such activity today, which got me thinking. If you were looking to assemble the ultimate BBQ crew using folks off the Dodgers roster, who would you select for your starting nine?

In choosing my "lineup," I fully admit to a certain amount of speculation on my part. Unless you count Eric Gagne's charity bowling event back in May, I've never hung out socially with anyone on the Dodger payroll. I've definitely never witnessed a player's cooking prowess or natural cookout aptitude. Thus, I'm often using their baseball skills/experience/career as something of a barometer in choosing my "All-Stars." And while I'm gonna keep things baseball-centric by going with nine Dodgers, I'm not keeping it truly real. A player's position is irrelevant. If I end up with five infielders instead of four, so be it. After all, if a pre-dinner softball game is part of the festivities, I imagine Jeff Kent (hypothetical example) could play out of position in center than the average schmuck on the other team. I'll take my chances. And without further adieu, my starters:

Brad Penny - The guy is a big time hunter. I've actually seen photos of his various kills (Animals, not people. Again, dude's a hunter, not a hit man). But those who spend that much time chasing game usually know how to prepare it. Hand Penny some animal flesh, I'm betting dollars to donuts he'll do a sweet job cooking it up. Plus, he's from Oklahoma. Midwesterners know them some BBQ.

Ramon Martinez - Versatility. If his cooking's anything like his game, he can work with a rub or a marinade, steak or chicken, charcoal or gas, tongs or a fork. You need a guy like that in your posse.

Bill Mueller - Remember him? The guy's from St. Louis (and actually went to high school down the street from where BK and I grew up). Ever had St. Louis-style BBQ? If so, you know why Mueller made the cut.

Brett Tomko - An accomplished visual artist (we're gonna try to link some of his work on the blog during the season) who happens to be a whiz with charcoal. Yeah, he strictly uses the stuff as a medium. But hey, an affinity's an affinity. Plus, there's the natural creativity of an artist. Lay out a bunch of random ingredients in front of the guy, the odds are good he'll come up with a pretty killer glaze for your pork.

Cesar Izturis - Best hands on the team. I don't know about you guys, but every BBQ I'm at, some jackass (typically me) always tongs some chicken and immediately bricks it, letting the food slip on the ground or through the grill and into the coals. I'd trust the tongs in Izzy's steady mitts any day of the week. And should someone else man those tools incompetently, there's nobody better to make a quick snag of the meat before it ends up dirty.

Jayson Werth - Every good party needs a guy who doesn't have work the next day, can get as ridiculously drunk as he wants, and be the life of the party. I'm not saying Werth would actually get hammered. But I do know that if he shows up to Dodger Stadium on Wednesday hungover (assuming an appearance is even required, since I haven't seen him around the clubhouse in a while), the team's performance likely won't suffer much against Arizona. "Volunteer" him for the beer bong or an extra tequila shot. And Werth's a pretty funny guy, making him even more of an "entertainment value" plus.

Sandy Alomar Jr. - As sage a veteran as they come. Wisdom always comes in handy. Whether deciding between spicy or mild BBQ sauce or ensuring that proper safety is being enforced while lighting up the Q, Sandy's your man.

Chad Billingsley - Inevitably, someone forgets to bring their assigned item. Or you'll run out of chips and need a market run. Extra chairs will need moving onto the patio. Rooks are basically gophers their inaugural season. Sounds like the perfect gig. There's many a rook to choose from on this squad, but Bills has spent the least amount of time in the show. Welcome to the Bigs, kiddo.

Jonathon Broxton - Another rook to help out Bills. And let's be honest. Dude's a big boy. I have a crazy feeling the guy's gonna show up either way. Might as well put him on the roster.

So there you have it. My All-Star roster. Do you like my choices? Do you think I omitted any obvious choices? Let me hear your thoughts.

—AK