Blue Curses

I decided to take a look at possible paranormal explanations for the slide.  Thanks to the folks at Wikipedia (the ultimate resource when accuracy isn't necessarily required), and it turns out there are a range of curses in a variety of categories, all of which could be having an effect on the team. 

A breakdown:

Cursed Places- It is said those who looted or excavated the tombs of ancient Egyptian Pharaohs were subject to some serious bad hoodoo courtesy of the priests of the day.  Judging by the recent crowds at Chavez Ravine, you can make a strong argument fans think the place is cursed.  At least after the sixth inning, when about half seem to take off (who can blame them?).  My guess?  When Milton Bradley was traded to Oakland, he left a little offering of his discontent behind.  "I couldn't be happier," Bradley said after the deal.  "I wish the Dodgers well, wish their team well."  Read in between the lines, and that basically means, "I couldn't be happier because on my way out, I'm gonna put a hex on this place so nasty it'll take them 20 second half games to dig themselves out." 

Cursed People- Tecumseh's curse kills presidents.  Whose curse kills a team?  First I thought about J.D. Drew.  He's had plenty of run-ins with bad luck over his career, but given his current contract, it's hard to call him cursed.  Likewise, injuries have cursed Nomar over his career, and after spending years as Mr. Boston he missed out on the Sox winning the Series.  But isn't that more ironic than cursed?  My suspect?  Toby Hall.  I believe he's second all time in games played for the Devil Rays.  That doesn't just wash off a guy when he changes uniforms.  The Dodgers need to get him into one of those total body disinfecting showers they use to detox people in hot zones, ASAP. 

Sports Related Curses- The Curses of the Bambino and Black Sox respectively are dead, but the Billy Goat in Chicago still causes trouble.  It's hard to say the Dodgers have been cursed as a franchise- too much success- and I can't think of Dodgers on the cover of Madden (that would be odd) or SI.  But maybe they've ticked off the sports gods in the last year or so?   Could ditching Ross Porter, suggesting a move from Dodgertown, or adding new rich folk seats that further marginalized the little man have done it?  Maybe. But as this link points out, things haven't been very rosy since Norihiro Nakamura left town. 

Cursed Objects- Remember those three classic episodes of "The Brady Bunch" when the family's trip to Hawaii was scuttled by a multitude of disasters because of the bad luck tiki doll Bobby innocently picked up on the way?  None of us wants to think what would have happened if the boys hadn't been rescued from that cave in which evil archaeologist Professor Hubert Whitehead (Vincent Price) had trapped them.  Too gruesome.  Anyway, Wikipedia says that cursed objects generally "have been stolen from their rightful owners or looted from a sanctuary."  Well, Nomar came from two baseball temples- Fenway and Wrigley- so that's a possibility, though a weak one.  You can make an argument that Andre Ethier was stolen from Oakland, which would get us back to Milton Bradley and create some solid curse synergy, but I'm not sure that's it either.  My guess?  Given the way the AL has slapped around the NL this year, I wonder if the Junior Circuit didn't decide to kick it up by sending an NL All Star home from Pittsburgh with the baseball equivalent of the cursed Brady tiki.  I highly recommend Nomar and Penny rummage through their lockers for suspicious All Star swag/memorabilia.  Perhaps something signed by former AL President Gene Budig?   Even worse, maybe one of them helped themselves to something AL related, five finger discount style? 

Fraudulent Curses- "Some people claiming to be gifted in magic or witchcraft set up business to exploit fears, in order to profitably separate victims from their money."  This one's easy.  I'm not saying Frank McCourt is a witch, and he's currently cultivating rather than exploiting fear, but there's no doubt the way things are going that right now it takes a little magic to get fans into the park, and those who do show up are fraudulently being separated from their money.

Those are just a few ideas.  As always on Blue Notes, we're open to suggestions.  In the meantime, it's probably a good idea to hit up Wikipedia curse breakers.

BK