Call Off Sam Waterston!
Or any other cast member from Law & Order because Ned Colletti has opted not to pursue tampering charges against the Sawx. Maybe it just wasn't worth the effort, give how slim the chances of winning these cases are. Or maybe Colletti just didn't want to spend any extra seconds in a room with Satan... er, Scott Boras. Hey, get in line, Ned. But I can still picture the court room scene, if witnesses are actually sworn in for these types of cases.
Baliff
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Scott Boras
I do.
Ned Colletti
(Exaggerated coughing)
Bullshhhhhhhh!!!!
The judge stares at Colletti.
Ned Colletti
I'm sorry, your honor. Just a little virus I'm dealing
with these days.
It would also be pretty fun watching the part where Boras talks a little Eric Gagne, who apparently wasn't as big on the whole "working for scale to remain a Dodger" thing as he originally claimed (for about ten minutes).
Sam Waterston
Isn't it true, Mr. Boras, that you convinced Mr. Gagne
to back on his original statement that he'd take less
money to stay in L.A.?
Scott Boras
I never convinced him of anything.
Sam Waterston
So in other words, Mr. Gagne never had any intention
of taking a pay cut in the first place, making it easy for
him to sign with the Texas Rangers, reuniting him with
another now ex-Dodger, Kenny Lofton.
Scott Boras
No, I'm not saying Gagne lied--
Sam Waterston
Well, then one of you is lying, because Mr. Gagne and
yourself weren't willing to accept the Dodgers' lower salary,
incentive-heavy offer. Why is that, Mr. Boras?
Scott Boras
Well... I.. um...
(Points at the window)
Your honor, look! Dead bird!
Boras leaps out of his seat, starts sprinting for the door then stops, as he realized the Judge is staring at him, unamused.
Scott Boras
What if I just bought everyone lunch and we called it even?
I'm about to came into some extra "walking around" money.
http://blog.rickbreslin.com/extras/doink_doink.wav
AK
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This news has me crushed. At least Eric won't be going to the Giants, though. And as an interesting side note, I managed to find a childhood picture of Scott Boras on the net:
http://blog.sweetestmemories.com/pix/damian.jpg
Posted by: DodgerBlueBalls | December 12, 2006 at 11:13 AM
If Texas offered 6 mil guaranteed with incentives to 11 mil, and we offered 5 mil and incentives to 10; I have to wonder why he would leave after his little rant about always being a Dodger and taking a discount to stay after 2 years of nothing for 19 mil.
Answer: sorry ass did not want to compete for the closers job. He wanted it handed to him.
I guess his vanity and ego got the best of him.
Posted by: Jim | December 12, 2006 at 12:01 PM
I see dead people.
Posted by: LoLo | December 12, 2006 at 12:07 PM
funny two players say they like being on the Dodgers and want to stay. Then the anti-christ whispers in their ear that "...I already have deals ready elsewhere so screw the Dodgers and who cares you will then be labeled a liar. It's not like you signed anything or got caught with asian teen porn on your windows desktop...just follow me and take the money. Even if it is pretty much the same amount. I am teaching the Dodgers a lesson they soon won't forget...HAHAHAHA..."
And to make it seem kosher now he is "battling" with the BoSox over a contract. When the real reason is simply to take some of the heat off and make it look like he and Theo do not share breakfast in bed when these deals come along.
And the Japnese guy is going to look like a major POS to the fans in Japan because of the money he cost the team. All because of the anit-christ...this guy is baaaad for baseball.
What is gonna happen when the cheap seats are $50/ea and beers are $20 a piece.
Posted by: grumpy3b | December 12, 2006 at 12:07 PM
It’s very obvious to me what is going on here. The bottom line is that Gagne is NOT confident that he is O.K. Period. If he was o.k. he would have taken the Dodgers’ offer and went into spring training with the mentality that he would pitch lights out. After all, that what “re-proving” yourself would be all about. And he should know that if he even slightly resembled the pitcher he once was that he would be given the closer’s job. After all, Sammy has no problem being his set-up guy.
But Gagne is NOT O.K., and his actions speak volumes. Worrying about a couple million dollars can only mean that the guy thinks he’s more likely to fizzle than make it. You can buy all that mumbo-jumbo about him wanting a guaranteed role as the closer, but the truth is that he is obviously trying to pinch every last dollar he can in what may turn out to be his last season.
Posted by: LoLo | December 12, 2006 at 12:14 PM
AK:
Just where is LENNY DRISCOLE when we need him to get the goods of this Boras character.
BTW, NIIIIICE L&O connection... ;)
Posted by: grumpy3b | December 12, 2006 at 12:19 PM
I see greedy people.
Posted by: Jim | December 12, 2006 at 12:28 PM
I Have Zero Respect For GagMe Now. I Officially Hate All Scott Satan BorAss Players. I Dont Care Who It Is. What An Ass.
Posted by: THE WOLF | December 12, 2006 at 12:31 PM
Eric Gagne has now been excommunicated from the Church of the Great Dodger in the Sky. He has chosen to abandon his flock so that he can burn in the unrelenting, summer humid heat of a hell that is otherwise known as the The Ballpark at Arlington.
Nothing would be sweeter than to have Eric find out next October that he sold his soul, Dodger Sainthood, and a World Series champioship for $2M.
Len
Posted by: Len Penzo | December 12, 2006 at 12:34 PM
All emotion and Boras bashing aside, this was probably the best move for Gagne. If he really is healthy, he has the best chance of shining with Texas. Bad team guaranteeing a closer's spot; it doesn't get much better than that for a guy looking to get paid next year. It's almost guaranteed that a decent reliever on a bad team will rack up at least 35 saves (remember those terrible Dodgers teams of the late '90s where Jeff Shaw came out looking like a team MVP?). If Gagne can be just decent and healthy next season, he'll be set up to get super-inflated B.J. Ryan money in '08.
Posted by: Makoto Ueno | December 12, 2006 at 12:59 PM
This just in...David "Shamu" Wells' agent says the Giants are at the top of his list to sign. Wells is 44. Fits right in, if Wells can actually fit anywhere.
Yeah, I'm so sorry we didn't give up Kemp for him.
Posted by: Dodgerdog | December 12, 2006 at 01:00 PM
As a fellow Canadian and long time Dodger fan I was dissapointed to see Gagne leave. I do agrre with LoLo though, I also believe Gagne is still hurt. He obviously wanted something guaranteed so when he blows his arm out in spring training he can sit on the cash. It shows muscles do tend to die off and not heal after you've juiced it.
As for Boras everything about him pisses me off. He's a major reason this game now revolves around money. I do thank him for talking Drew in to leaving though, that guys a piece of S$@#&. One rumor that I just heard was Boras has a client that wants to sign with the Dodgers for $12 million a year, it's Jeff Hamilton. Boras thinks it's a steal of a deal.
Posted by: Pistol Pete | December 12, 2006 at 01:04 PM
AK,
You’re little screenplay up there should have come with the disclaimer “I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it runs astray.” Not because it’s 1999, but because you were in fact dreaming when you wrote that. Nice try, buddy. HAHA!!
Posted by: LoLo | December 12, 2006 at 01:07 PM
Lolo,
You gotta at least give me credit for ending with the sound effect. haha
AK
Posted by: Andrew Kamenetzky | December 12, 2006 at 01:50 PM
Dodgerdog,
There's nothing a little Crisco around the waistline can't fix.
Posted by: Makoto Ueno | December 12, 2006 at 01:52 PM
One of the biggest risks that the Rangers are taking with Gagne is that he is yet to throw off a mound.
The anti-Christ can spread all the stories he wants about how Eric is healthy and ready, but didn't we hear that last year during spring training?
I saw him in person, once, in 2006. I knew he wasn't healthy.
Posted by: Dodgerdog | December 12, 2006 at 02:06 PM
Eric Gagne has just stabbed every Dodger fan in the back. Gagne has just pulled off one the greatest heist's of all time: 19 million in the past 2 years for just 15.1 innings worth of work. How could you go from saying that you would take a "Hometown Discount" to stay a Dodger and then leave LA for Texas for just 1 million more? LA made Gagne larger than life... But Gagne just pissed that all away.
Signed,
Hoping his arm explodes again...
Posted by: Leon_Funk | December 12, 2006 at 02:11 PM
AK,
I'll give you partial credit for the sound effect. But it's not like you invented the riff to "Iron Man", or something.
Now, if you can karaoke "Purple Rain", I will fully give you your due props as "Da Man". HAHA!
Posted by: LoLo | December 12, 2006 at 02:22 PM
Bottom line? Gagme might have done us a favor if he really is not sure he can come back healthy. He saves us a "paltry" 4 million we can spend on someone who wants to be a Dodger and can help get us to the World Series. If he was 100%, BorAss would have demanded 10 million or more!
Butt what a scumbag. I'm torn between being glad he is in the AL and I don't have to see him, and not being in the NL where I can watch him fall on his big fat face.
I hope his arm drops off.
Posted by: Andy B | December 12, 2006 at 02:34 PM
It's not a matter of if Gagne breaks down, it's when is he going to break down.
Lots of luck a**hole.
Posted by: Jim | December 12, 2006 at 02:47 PM
Hey, what do you expect from a CANADIAN??
Take a HIKE Eric Gagne!!!! You STINK!!!!
Posted by: JIM | December 12, 2006 at 03:48 PM
Over under on saves next year? 20? 10? 5?
Posted by: bmurph | December 12, 2006 at 04:16 PM
LoLo & AK:
Why is it I feel the need to put on Alan Parsons Turn of a Friendly" or even "Eve" card among others whenever I read the blog...it just gets me in that sorta mood.
BTW, notice who got top billing in this post...just helping the cause and the negotiations for your contract extension LoLo... ;)
Posted by: grumpy3b | December 12, 2006 at 04:41 PM
and as far as Gagne I say "Eh"
LoLo might be on to something with the injury issue and in all honesty he might not have signed with the Dodgers because he does feel guilty taking even more money for nothing. And perhaps the "I'll give a hometown discount" thing was more a smoke screen to get other teams to bid more. That would be a smart negotiations tactic. That is if you have zero scruples as the anti-christ does.
So, Gagne might either be yet another "...they traded the wrong Martinez..." transaction or he might just be "Game Over" for good...either way he did entertain us for a number of years before he returned to being a "piece of crap"...so have a nice time in Texazz Gagne...you are dead to us here...
Posted by: grumpy3b | December 12, 2006 at 04:46 PM
Dodgers cut loose Werth and Hall. Hope they don't regret it.
Posted by: Fish Guy | December 12, 2006 at 09:03 PM